| A Conditioner for Every Occasion |
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“Do you have enough conditioner in your shower?” I asked my girlfriend as I emerged from the bathroom.
She looked up from her desk, where she was finishing her homework so that we could go to dinner, all dressed up already. “What do you mean?” she asked.
I made a face at her. “You have, like, a billion different kinds of conditioner in your shower!”
She laughed. “Were you inspecting my shower? I was under the impression that you were going to the bathroom.”
“No, I was,” I said quickly. “It’s just hard not to notice when there’s that many bottles and the curtains are open.”
“Sure,” she said sarcastically.
“But really, what’re they all for?” I asked. She sighed, standing up and grabbing my hand pulling me forcefully into the bathroom.
“James, you really are a pain,” she told me, grinning.
“I know,” I said, returning her expression.
She picked up one. “This one is a moisturizing conditioner,” she said, holding up a green bottle.
“Which does?” I prompted, even though I knew the answer.
“Duh! It moisturizes!” she said, punching my arm and putting it back down and picking up another. “This one is a reconstructor conditioner.”
“Which does--?” I prompted again.
She sighed. “It has proteins in it to strengthen hair. Therefore, it’s great if you have really dry hair.” I nodded. “This one is an acidifying conditioner,” she continued, holding up a bright pink bottle now.
“Okay,” I said, waiting for her explanation.
“This kind is great for people with fine hair and it makes hair shiny and bouncy. It’s also great for people with more greasy hair,” she said and I watched her closely, laughing silently. I knew she hated explaining them all to me, but I just wanted to be difficult.
“Cool,” I said as she picked up the next one, a navy blue color that I thought was rather boring.
“This one is a detangler, which, obviously, detangles hair. It’s kind of like an acidifier, it just closes the hair follicles that enable hair to become tangled,” she said.
“Okay, okay. I suppose you don’t have to name them all off!” I said, laughing and gathering her into my arms, smiling down at her.
“No way! You asked for it! I’m going to give you every, single, boring detail! Maybe next time you won’t ask questions that you don’t want the answer to!” she protested, laughing. She hit my arm with the bottle lightly and picked up another bottle. “This one is what some people call a ‘thermal protector.’ That means that it’s really good for people who blow dry their hair, so that it doesn’t get damaged by the heat.”
“Like how you dry your hair?” I asked and she wrinkled her nose at me.
“Oh hush, you,” she said, putting down the bottle and picking up an oddly bright green bottle. “This one is a glosser conditioner. It just makes your hair shiny,” she said and I rolled my eyes, now waiting impatiently for her to finish.
“I don’t need shiny hair, thanks though,” I said jokingly and she made a face at me before continuing.
She finally picked up the last bottle. “And this is a conditioner with oils in it, for dry hair. It’s very good for colored hair especially,” she said. “That’s self-explanatory I suppose.”
I stared incredulously at her. “Do you use all of those at once?” I asked, trying to repress a grin.
“Oh, you are so sarcastic! Of course I don’t! I’ve just tried them all because I didn’t know what they were when I first got them and I found out as I went. So now I actually use the thermal protector because, yes, I blow dry my hair,” she said, pushing against my chest playfully.
“Well, I have to do something to entertain myself!” I exclaimed, brushing a kiss over her forehead. “Come on, are you done with your homework?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I suppose so.”
“Let’s go then!” I said and pulled her out the door. Conditioner was surprisingly intriguing but I needed some food. |
